One thing that drives me nuts about fibromyalgia is the so called “fibro fog”. It drives me nuts feeling like I’m lost in a haze far too often. I used to be an extremely contemplated person. I think that is why I thought the blogging thing would be a good idea for me, to get me thinking and writing again. Years ago I used to write privately late at night, all the time. That was back when I had the time and, of course, the focus.
Granted I’m by no means a professional writer. English was never one of my favorite classes. It’s only now that I’m older that I even have taken a fondness to reading. I used to hate it! But back to writing… I’ve been told by a few people that they like my writing style and think I have the potential but I’ve never really had confidence in my grammar skills. I guess we never really know till we try though, right? So here I am, putting myself out there a bit. However I have no desire to do so professionally. This is just another hobby or better put, a form of expression for me.
I will say I’m nervous about sharing too much because of the fact you never know just who is watching and with the internet, once it’s out there is no turning back. So I think it’s reasonable to be nervous. Yet on the other hand, I think there is benefit to it. I know it’s because of others who dared to share their stories, that helped me figure out a certain level of peace in my own chaos.
I know at this stage my site has very very few viewers so I’ve not been in a rush for updates or anything. So this is truly a personal website made for my own amusement. And when I have the focus I’m hoping it’ll push my brain cells to work here and there to remember how to make websites and such. I need to exercise that part of my brain. Plus it’s fun playing with layouts and the like. I’ve been more distracted with crafting right now though. The intention is to combine the two. & Sooner or later I’ll get one of the tutorials I’ve been working up finished and uploaded.
I’ve been enjoying making things. It lets me feel productive some days, a feeling I’ve grown to miss. I never thought I’d actually miss working! I do miss it though, a LOT.
I miss the feelings of accomplishment. I miss having the freedom from earning a paycheck of my own to spend how I saw fit. Yes that includes a lot of responsibility with bills and all but its your choice at that point. I miss having control over my direction in life. In some ways it’s rough having to depend on others for EVERYTHING.
I’m trying to maintain faith though that God has a direction for me. I have to believe there is a purpose for everything. I may not understand it yet, but that is OK. If nothing else it has definitely been teaching me to appreciate a whole hell of a lot more than I ever did before. There are sooooo many tiny things we take for granted every day until a day comes that limits our abilities. There is a photo I’ll attach that I found on Facebook that explains it all from .
Anyway, that’s all my ramblings for tonight. Would you believe me if I told you I had no idea what I was going to say when I started this post? Haha Just felt it was due for a post.